I am Spartacus… I mean Wayne Messam

All of this makes me wonder… since Wayne Messam clearly hasn’t spent a bit of effort getting his campaign for president website indexed properly in Google, is it possible for me to stuff my site with content and keywords and get listed higher on the search result for people looking for him?

I’ll be honest, my knowledge of SEO is basic. I have never spent any more effort than utilizing the rudimentary tools that WordPress provides. As little as this is, it is still clearly more than what Wayne Messam is utilizing, so being the internet renegade that I am, I am going to give it a try.

The search for Wayne Messam’s campaign for president website

Pop quiz: Can anyone identify the black bald candidate for president who isn’t Cory Booker? If you can, you are likely a resident of Miramar, FL, the town which Wayne Messam is mayor of (not to be confused with Miramar Naval Air Station, the setting for the movie Top Gun in Southern California).

Quiz #2:

Can you name the other 2 current Mayors running for president?

Pete Buttigieg, South Bend, IN
Bill de Blasio, New York, NY

How about the 3 former mayors?

Cory Booker, former mayor of Newark
Julián Castro, former mayor of San Antonio
John Hickenlooper, former mayor of Denver

As I discussed in the previous post, while Wayne Messam does have a presence on the internet (via various social media and news outlets), he has invested very little in search engine optimization (SEO) leaving his actual campaign website almost completely unfindable.

Googling “Wayne Messam“, “Wayne Messam for President“, “Wayne Messam for President website” all did not turn up his campaign website. It did turn up his “Wayne Messam 2020 presidential campaign” Wikipedia page, which did (finally!) have a link to his official website, WayneForAmerica.com… whiiich is a broken link.
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Presidential candidate 404 pages, round 2 of 3 – folks who don’t have much of a chance

Continuing from my previous post, I pulled the 404 pages for 4 more of the Democratic nominees. This lot is challenged – they are polling so poorly and raised so little money that they didn’t make the first debate. However, “down” does not mean “out.” For those of you who have already written off (say) Steve Bullock, remember that history has shown us that there are MANY examples of upsets that could never have been predicted this early on…

  • Despite facing much higher profile adversaries than himself, getting stomped in Iowa then having his affair with Gennifer Flowers exposed, Bill Clinton he still went on to win in 1992
    • As an aside, just like Stormy Daniels is such a great pornstar name, Gennifer Flower is definitely a great “mistress name”
  • In 2008 Barack Obama stumbled in his early debate and didn’t seem capable of knocking Hillary Clinton off her status as the presumptive nominee and yet still ended up winning
  • And really… 3 years ago, Donald Trump riding down his gold escalator was the biggest joke of all – to think that he could knock off Jeb Bush was craziness at the time

Don’t get me wrong, these guys’ chances aren’t good, but it’s not zero. In any case, roughly in order their likeliness (IMHO), here are the 404 pages for the 4 candidates least likely to get the nomination:

Steve Bullock Continue reading

Presidential candidate 404 pages

I was looking at the website for the clown leading this country when I hit a broken link and brought up the site’s 404 page (you know, the page that a web server generates when a user attempts to follow a broken/dead link).

Hah. “You’re looking for something that doesn’t exist” followed by a picture of a smiling President Hillary Clinton.


The page is actually brilliant. No matter who looks at it will get riled up in the exact way he wants them to – his supporters, disappointed at the fact that they are a broken link, will chuckle, “Hah! Yeah, that’s right, we show’d her!” Everyone else (myself included) will wring their hands “Why does he keep on bringing up Hillary? Can’t he just move on??” Both of us are then offered a chance to view more of Trump’s glory or give him money.

In any case, I thought it would be interesting to check out the 404 pages for the other presidential candidates. Let’s start with those who were at night 1 of the debate.

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Vicente for Presidente

Most people (Donald Trump excluded), once they reach a certain level of respectability, try to behave, you know, respectably. Thank god Vicente Fox, president of Mexico until 2006, got sick of that and started speaking his true mind.

If you want to see him trying to make a reasoned argument you can, but this sampling of off the rail rants are fantastic…



Jimmy Carter, step down. Vicente Fox, you are now officially my favorite former world leader and you have my vote!

The Democratic field – where they’re from, by state

A simple visualization of what state these folks are from (and easy mapping is one of the few things that Google Sheets does that Excel doesn’t!).

Where the candidates are from, by state:


State Name(s)
CO Michael Bennet, John Hickenlooper
DE Joseph R. Biden Jr.
NJ Cory Booker
MT Steve Bullock
IN Pete Buttigieg
TX Julián Castro, Beto O’Rourke
MD John Delaney
NY Bill de Blasio, Kirsten Gillibrand, Andrew Yang
HI Tulsi Gabbard
CA Kamala Harris, Eric, Swalwell, Marianne Williamson
WA Jay Inslee
MN Amy Klobuchar
FL Wayne Messam
MA Seth Moulton, Elizabeth Warren
OH Tim Ryan
VT Bernie Sanders

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Democratic field, a visualization redux

It seems like the Democratic field is baked in and with the debates looming, figured I’d update this view from about 4 months back.

Mediocre action movie marathon

The family was away this weekend which means I watched a lot of bad movies – you know, the ones which you know are going to be terrible but you want to see anyways. In what is impressive slothfullness for even myself, I saw 4 movies in the span of 24 hours… Tomb Raider, The Wandering Earth, The Meg and Transformers: The Last Knight.

Unintentionally all 4 ended up being sci-fi/action movies from the last year or 2, and as such, suffered from very common themes: a) they were massively overstuffed – too many characters (most of which you just didn’t care about), too many silly plot twists (making them too long) and b) generally lacked a soul focusing more on spectacle, big explosions and effects, rather than character development or plot.

Some thoughts… roughly in the order from best to worst… or really, from least worst to most worst.
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The child was learning about haikus in school (a haiku is a 3 line poem with 5 syllables on the first line, 7 on the second and 5 on the third)… I forgot how much fun it is to talk about the world in Haiku form! 🙂

On the older child’s soccer practice
A rite of passage
Happens to all in soccer
Got beaned in the head

On coaching the younger child’s soccer team for the first time
Team of 6 year olds
Kids run in all directions
What’s his name again?

On the weather
The thunder is loud
Sky is dark, outside is wet
Soccer is canceled

Listening to 9 year olds talk among themselves
So embarrassing
No longer can go outside
My mom just said “rad”

On Trump
Is no collusion
The Russia probe is a hoax
He said covfefe

On life
Sink is filling up
Dishes dishes everywhere
Dishwasher broken

The only things I say to my kids
Ok I heard you
Don’t make me come over there
Turn off your iPad

Love and Marriage

Peggy Bundy Action FigureWas toy shipping with the kiddos at Target today when I saw this “action figure”… it’s Peggy Bundy from Married with Children!

For those not familiar, MWC was a TV show that went off the air over 20 years back after a 10 year run. The Fox network had just launched and this was one of its early hits. It separated itself from the pack with a more, shall we say, edgy aesthetic… and “edgy” I mean offensive, outrageous and appealed to the lowest common denominator. It was damn funny stuff, but not exactly good wholesome family fare.

Now honestly, one part of me finds the fact that something like this exists, freaking hilarious. MWC was classic TV and Peggy over the top awesome in it so an action figure seems like an appropriate homage. However, the other part of me is shocked and appalled that it is available a) at Target, b) in the toys aisle and c) marketed towards kids (it even says “Ages 8+” on the box!)!

I do admire (and fear for) the balls on the guy at MEGO who green-lighted this. In this age of “me too,” to further something that absolutely epitomized sexism, misogyny and objectification is actually pretty impressive.
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