Japanese doesn’t translate well (or Japanese people are weird)

For some reason, the 6 year old got a pack of Japanese Pokemon cards and was anxious to know their names. Like any well meaning father who doesn’t speak Japanese, I lied to the child and just started making up names… for example, this guy was Starlord:

However, as my names got more outlandish (Destructo, Pinky Pie, Super Red Rocketman), he started catching on that maybe I am not being completely truthful (either he’s getting smarter or I’m becoming a worse liar).

To get back on the right side of truth, I uses Google translate to get me what the actual names are. Starlord here offered up am incontrovertible truth tho – Japanese does NOT translate well (ooor, if this is an accurate translation, the folks who do the translations for the English cards take certain liberties to keep them family friendly).

After a first pass with Google Translate…

…it seems Starlord’s name was actually Sanagiras. Check. But, what does that say below the picture? “Do you have cancer”… what??? Then the camera shifted slightly and the translation changed…

The name remained, but now “Do you have cancer” changed to the even more perplexing “Sexual cancer”. This makes his power of “Blow” a little more understandable… thoooo significantly more inappropriate…?

I’ll close by stating that any mention of sexual cancer should always be followed by a mention of Sexual Chocolate. I was surprised to learn at that link that there are 7 references to Sexual Chocolate that I had never heard. The one that I have (the oldest and likely originator of the term) is from the movie Coming to America with Eddie Murphie and Arsenio Hall.

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