Like 61% of Americans, I was appalled at the massive curtailment of abortion rights that the Supreme Court recently handed down with the reversal on Roe vs. Wade and went to the capitol to protest. The turnout was impressive and the passion was palpable. However, the rhetorical fire was counterbalanced with some just god-awful grammar. The speeches were bad, but the signs were worse. They were all grammatically deficient – confusing at best, almost always had multiple contradictory meanings and at worst, made no sense at all. A sampling of the biggest offenders follows…
Keep your rosaries off my ovaries
The grammatically correct way to say this is “Keep your rosaries off of my ovaries.”
Hot people are pro choice
Looking at that crowd, this one was an obvious lie as there wasn’t a single good looking person around. Unless they were being literal, in which case it was 100% accurate as it was pushing 100 degrees in the shade.
Fuck the patriarchy
Is this a command to have sex with the patriarchy or a request for the patriarchy to fuck off?
Repo rights are human rights
While I do believe that both the repossession of products where payments are not being made and the sale and repurchase of assets are both important functions in society, I am not sure that they rise to the level of human rights.
stop fucking republicans
My favorite sign of all… a complete lack of capitalization and punctuation combined with the power of the English language and the amazing flexibility of the word “fuck” leads to the most incomprehensible sign there. There are 4 separate (very different) ways to interpret this…
- Fuck as a verb, a command for everyone to stop having sex with republicans (you can fuck anyone else tho)
- Fuck as an adjective, a command to stop just the republicans who fuck (but the republicans who don’t fuck are ok)
- Fucking republicans as a noun phrase, a command to stop just the republicans who fuck other republicans (but the republicans who fuck others are ok)
- Or if you just don’t like republicans, it’s a general statement to stop them all (tho “stop the fucking republicans” would have been clearer, IMHO)
The addition of a comma is another way to change the meaning entirely…
stop fucking, republicans
- This is a nicer request to the republicans to stop fornicating (but everyone else is still free to fuck)
The addition of a period, completely changes this again…
stop. fucking republicans
- a request to stop followed by an observation of more than one copulating republican
- a request to stop followed by an observation of disgust regarding of a group of republicans
Look, all I’m saying is that if you can’t trust 60’s era Batman, who can you trust… good grammar is essential!
My wife and I have frequently stated during the election that Kellyanne should take away Trump’s access to his twitter feed (and when I say Kellyanne, I really mean *anyone* on Trump’s staff) – unfiltered access to every thought that pops into his head makes him seem like a thin skinned capricious petty vindictive child.
It is now clear tho, for his sake at least, that if you can’t take away Trump’s access, you probably should at least take away Kellyanne’s… take a quick look at the last 3 tweets from el hombre del peluquín‘s twitter feed :
Unlike the other 2, the third one sounds like it was written by adult. Moreover it is direct conflict in tone (if not a full contradiction) to the first. As such, (IMHO) is clearly not written by the same person.
There is a solid clarity of message which is lost when you try to correct for Trump’s missteps and while it still seems insane to me, his strategy/style is working for him. At the end of the day, you either need to totally reign him in or just “let Trump be Trump”. There is no middle ground and pretending any different is just SAD.
In a word, diversity. This town brings out all sorts. And I’m not just talking about your regular left wing hippies or your run of the mill fringe right wing extremists… I’m talking about those who are all of the above.
Like this guy…
On one hand he wears his fringe-right credentials proudly being a fan of infowars.com and wanting to end the Fed. But on the other hand, he cares about the environment, he wants to reduce his impact and drives a car that only those to the left of Ralph Nader would, a Smart car (I think that weird thing hanging from his mirror is what he uses to feed the hamster that runs on the spinning wheel powering his engine).
Yep, we’ve gone there, Donald Trump the leading candidate for president of the United States in 2016 has just been compared to Hitler… as a compliment.
“David Duke, a prominent white supremacist, says Donald Trump is helping to rehabilitate Hitler’s image.”
Now it is not a surprise that a racist asshole like Duke would believe this, so who cares? Why publicize the rantings of a fringe right wing wacko and further legitimize his cause with additional airtime? Well the problem is a plurality of Republicans in this country (40+%) endorses Donald Trump so this is no longer a fringe issue. Adolf Hitler is the embodiment of evil in the 20th century and I’m not saying that Trump is evil, but for a leading presidential candidate to have even a passing resemblance much less a full-scale equating is a little concerning – fringe perspective or not.
Look you either believe Hitler is evil or not. If yes, then certainly nothing I say is going to change that. If not then you have to take a look at who he is being compared to and decide if that is legitimate.
I think the reason that this news gets me so riled up is that a post that I had kind of written as a lark some months back is coming closer and closer to fruition.
Ok at this point, it looks like my man Kasich won Ohio like he said he would, but nothing else. While I am happy he remains in as a non-Trump (and hell, non-Cruz) alternative, I just don’t see what he thinks he viability is – outside of his home state, he was in the bottom half of every single contest. Assume his path forward has to do something with a contested convention (whatever that is).
With respect to the Trump juggernaut, I just keep on watching this over and over hoping that people will come to their senses:
This made me smile, unlike most of the real news from this campaign.
And while I am quoting random people off the internet, I am reminded of a post from some random guy on Twitter that went something to the effect of: “Illegal immigration will actually increase under a Trump presidency, but then Canada would send all the Americans back.”
It’s been a weird night on the Internet… I firstly came across this article saying that Ted Cruz is definitely (well maybe) the Zodiac Killer. And really, if you can’t believe Google auto-complete, then who can you??
And because I like to end all of my posts on a classy note, I want to talk about porn. Namely this bit of worthy news I happened upon – porn rots slower than other magazines. It’s good to know that even though Playboy has stopped printing nudes, their naked chicks will be available for a looong time to come – the author of this finding was able to display a 1979 copy Playboy unearthed from a landfill which was in near mint condition!
I do fear for the new Playboy format tho. Not for the lack of nudes but the monthly interview by James Franco – if anything is going to kill that magazine, this is it. His god-awful hosting of the 2011 Oscars still haunts my dreams…
This is probably the first thing which has happened in this race which has made sense to me. Jim Gilmore, i.e. the Invisible Man, has dropped out.
Well, that was quick and I could not have been more wrong. Two folks dropped out of the race and neither was Jim Gilmore.
Meanwhile, my man Jim Gilmore, despite coming in last, losing to 3 people not running, says “his plan is to be in South Carolina on Wednesday morning”1. You have to admire that kind of perseverance.