By now, you are likely aware that Donald Trump, in a move that brings a new dignity to the man and will cement his place in history as a serious leader, made a “big announcement” that he sold a series of not-cringy “digital trading cards.”

The official site states there were 45 thousand cards for sale and showcases about a dozen of them. Curious as to what 45K images of Donald Trump would do to my brain, I took a look at the NFT resale marketplace OpenSea.io. The first thing you notice is that while there were 45K cards sold, in order to create scarcity there are definitely not 45K unique cards available (even tho, as we’ll see later, there could be). Secondly, the quality of these really was as bad as was reported – “lazy Photoshop of stock images” and “haphazardly edited” was very aproppo. This whole production essentially breaks down to a modern day version of paper dolls. All Trump had to do was contribute a handful of head shots and photoshop did the rest.

I am sure that the plummeting price of these is clearly a blip and these will assume their place in the pantheon of truly valuable collector’s items and good long term investment. As such, to help you find the Trump card that reflects your favorite incarnation of our former dear leader, I have prepared an overview of what is available. In 4 easy steps, presenting…

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