Category: Miscellaneous

Top 8 reasons why my manhood is over…

The arrival of my baby has spelled many changes in my life, both expected and not. Following are the 8 reasons (so far!!) that I will never be able to wallow in the cesspool of pure manhood even again:

  1. I am now outnumbered 2 to 1 in my own home so will lose any vote that goes along gender lines (granted, the addition of the baby didn’t actually change anything on that front)
  2. I found *27* hours of Oprah on the DVR… Mumtaz initially said to leave all of it!
  3. The first movie we saw in 6 months was “He’s Just Not That Into You” not “Watchmen”
  4. I know that “he’s just not that into you” is a reference from Sex and the City
  5. I will admit to watching Sex and the City
  6. One room of the house is already lavender, the rest are scheduled to be some sort of pastel or girly color
  7. Breasts are no longer for looking or playing, but rather for keeping the baby quiet
  8. Did I mention, 27 hours of Oprah on the DVR?

Army of darkness

I feel like I am preparing for an army. An army of little people. Who else but an army would need so much supplies and sooo many vehicles?? Maybe I can invade Oklahoma. Or maybe Houston, then I can make it suck less.

More thoughts from a sleep starved mind

There's something very refreshing about communicating with someone whose English is not that good. They are much more upfront with what they mean and can't hide what they feel in meaningless nuance. That's why I love this belt. They're not trying to fool you into thinking it is a leather-like substance (“faux leather”) or something that is better than leather (“pleather”). It's just not leather, deal with it.

The buckle must not be real metal either, 'cause as I think of it, I didn't take it off when I went through security and it did not beep…