Category: Miscellaneous

Army of darkness

I feel like I am preparing for an army. An army of little people. Who else but an army would need so much supplies and sooo many vehicles?? Maybe I can invade Oklahoma. Or maybe Houston, then I can make it suck less.

More thoughts from a sleep starved mind

There's something very refreshing about communicating with someone whose English is not that good. They are much more upfront with what they mean and can't hide what they feel in meaningless nuance. That's why I love this belt. They're not trying to fool you into thinking it is a leather-like substance (“faux leather”) or something that is better than leather (“pleather”). It's just not leather, deal with it.

The buckle must not be real metal either, 'cause as I think of it, I didn't take it off when I went through security and it did not beep…

Sign of the apocalypse

No, not a bread named “Bimbo” (btw, is there a meaning to that word that I am not aware of??)… it's the fact that as I see stupid things, I now have the ability to post it to the site directly from my phone. Definitely technology gone awry 😉

Crime and Punishment

No, not *that* Crime and Punishment… this is a school project that my little cousin Khuzema and his friends made (he’s the short guy that spends most of his time in this video lying on the ground, dead). It’s about a 50MB download though quicktime seems to do a reasonable job of streaming it.

Terrorists, prostitutes and Communists, oh my!

My wife is filling out immigration forms for the INS (or USCIS or BCIS or or Department of Homeland Security or CIS or whatever the *hell* they are called these days!) and part 3 of the I-485 form, asks a series of truly thought-provoking questions (*my* first thought being, what the f**k are these guys thinking??).

Following is a sample of some of the questions that are asked to each and every person applying for permanent residence in the United States (really, I am not making this up – see page 6 of the i-485 form:

  1. Have you ever:
    1. within the past ten years been a prostitute or procured anyone for prostitution, or intend to engage in such activities in the future?
  2. Have you ever engaged in… sabotage, kidnapping, political assassination, hijacking or any other form of terrorist activity?
  3. Do you intend to engage in the U.S. in:
    1. espionage?
    2. any activity a purpose of which is opposition to, or the control of overthrow of, the government of the United States, by force, violence or other unlawful means?
  4. Have you ever been a member of, of in any way affiliated with, the Communist Party or any other totalitarian party?
  5. Have you ever engaged in genocide…?
  6. Do you plan to practice polygamy in the U.S.?

These are questions that the government expects truthful answers to??? Additionally, question 6 baffles me – what is that still doing here? Are we really still scared of communists, do we feel that they still pose a threat to this country? Last I checked the cold was over and we won!

However, the silver lining is, who knew that the war on terror could be so easy? Someone should tell John Ashcroft of the existence of these questions immediately. He will undoubtedly have all of the immigrant spies, terrorists, prostitutes and Communists rounded up shortly!

<sigh> our tax dollars at work…