Tagged: team america
Top 7 Fictional Hans
7. Hans and Franz – Saturday Night Live
Hans and Franz, like much of what is on SNL is so so much worse than you remembered at the time. What I remembered as classic skits with a hilarious pair of characters is really just really dumb upon recent review. You can access all of them on NBC’s website to judge for yourself.
6. Prince Hans – Frozen
Number 6 on this list, but number 1 on the list of “twist villains named Hans.”
5. Hans Blix – Team America, World Police
While brilliantly played as the dry dry dry UN bureaucrat he dropped a spot given he is based on a real person and therefore has the worst claim to fictionality of anyone on this list.
4. Hans Zarkov – Flash Gordon
Hans Zarkov is the perfect mad scientist and the best one of the group of heros in that movie. The titular Flash is super generic. Timothy Dalton as Prince Barin is boring and the leader of the Hawkmen Prince Vultan while hilarious, was a little too over the top.
Notable mention, he is also number 2 on the list of “Hans with goatees”
3. Hans Gruber – Die Hard
Hans Gruber rounds out the perfect ensemble that is Die Hard. He is the quintessential greasy European that we all immediately hate. He is menacing and is smart and stays ahead of the cops the entire time. The perfect villain.
Notable mention, he is number 1 on the list of “Hans with goatees”
2. Hans Moleman – The Simpsons
Often played as the butt of the joke, he was a bit character brought out as the most pitiful person on the receiving end of some horrible situation. Comedy gold.
1. Han Solo – Star Wars
While technically not a “Hans,” he is singular “Han” – which makes a good fit for number one! And to be clear, we are talking about the 1977 scoundrel who was not afraid to kill another miscreant in cold blood. Han shot first, end of story.
I just watched Team America: World Police again and am a little concerned that I was no longer thoroughly disturbed by the sex scene (it was 2 puppets having sex, for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure).