Category: Amuses Me

New and improved handsfree headset

New and improved handsfree headset
My buddy Derek is always giving me a hard time about my crappy cell phone headsets. To date I have been unable to find one that I like that is comfortable, easy to put on and take off, doesn’t look super-geeky and sounds good to both parties – if anyone knows of such a beast, PLEASE let me know!

In any case, he thinks he has found the ideal low budget solution for me with this surreptitious snapshot he took while walking back from a Giants game.

Pig races!!

pig races flyer
I always get a kick out of silly things like this. Abizer brought this flyer back for me after he completed his road trip moving from Rapid City, SD to Las Vegas.

Let me ask you… can you think of a better way to commemorate the tragedy that this nation endured on September 11th than spending the evening at the pig races??

The Canada Files

This is one of those long running projects that I have been meaning to do for a while, but had always found enough actually important things to do to never have gotten around to it. It first came to mind when I was living in Canada, then becoming engaged to a Canadian and making subsequent trips back to the frozen north added fuel to the fire. Well finally, I have managed to procrastinate away enough important things to make time for this… a reasonable compilation of my rant, raves and observations of and in Canada.

And now presenting…

Salim’s World – The Canada Files

Bush gets soverized

Following is the transcript (video below as well) of President Bush being questioned at a gathering of minority journalists (the UNITY conference in Washington DC, August 6, 2004):


MARK TRAHANT: Mr. President, […] what do you think tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century and how do we resolve conflicts between tribes and the federal and state governments?

GEORGE BUSH: Tribal sovereignty means that, it’s sovereign. Ohhh, I get it! You’re a — you’re a — you have been given sovereignty and you’re viewed as a sovereign entity. It makes so much sense when explained like that!

MARK TRAHANT: Okay.

GEORGE BUSH: And therefore, the relationship between the federal government and tribes is one between sovereign entities. Wait, this is now the third time he said that Now, the federal government has got a responsibility on matters like education and security to help. And health care. And it’s a solemn duty. Wait, Dubya’s not answering the question From this perspective, we must continue to uphold that duty. I think that one of the most promising areas of all is to help with economic development, What? Economic development?? What does that have to do with the *meaning* of tribal sovereignty in the 21st century or the conflict with state and federal government?? and that means helping people understand what it means to start a business. That’s why the Small Business Administration has increased loans. It means, obviously, encouraging capital flows, Whew! Glad we have Dubya on the job to define what a loan is for us! but none of that will happen unless the education systems flourish and are strong. That’s why I told you, we spent $1.1 billion in reconstruction of Native American schools.

Afterwards, the Reverend Jesse Jackson held a news conference which he used to poke fun at Dubya.

BRENT MERRILL: As you saw today at the president’s conference, the leader of the free world does not understand tribal sovereignty. Ouch! What would you do in your estimation, Reverend, what would you do and how would you advise tribes to educate our folks, just exactly what tribal sovereignty is?

JESSE JACKSON: The President explained. You just didn’t understand. Sovereignty is sovereignty. You understand? It’s like in sovereignity. If you are on a reservation, you have been soverized. Your Ph.D. is in soverbication. You understand? I don’t think you understand. [laughs]

BRENT MERRILL: You’re right. I didn’t understand that.


Watch the video, it’s freakin’ hilarious!! The original transcript and streaming video are available too:

My only comment on this, is that this bumbling idiot has access to nucular weapons – if he asks nicely, he can even get access to the nuclear weapons. He has access to the most powerful military in the world. He sets the policy and tone for the largest economy in the world. Is he *really* the right guy for the job???

Now, one may make the argument that as president one can’t stay up to date on the issues of every single group in the country, and that would certainly be true. However, considering that one of the four groups that organized this press event was the Native American Journalists Association, this question, or one like it, should not have come as a surprise.

All of this leaves me really impressed with Dubya’s campaign machine. John Kerry has almost constantly been on the defensive about stupid trivial non-issues – many of which apply just as validly to Dubya. Kerry is completely unable to keep the conversation focused where *he* wants…

  • Flip flopping??? My god, did we not hear Dubya state in the 2000 presidential debates that he would avoid nation building and would use our military in a more sensible manner and not over-commit the military and that he valued smaller government??
  • Vietnam – regardless of whether or not Kerry threw away *all* of his medals or how much fire he actually came under while in Vietnam… he WENT TO VIETNAM… willingly… voluntarily. What did Dubya do? Well, all we know is that he is really defensive about it and won’t tell anyone.

If we are going to talk about stupid issues like the above, why can’t the Kerry people keep the big picture in the front of mind… like THE CURRENT PRESIDENT IS A BUMBLING IDIOT… and not let themselves get dragged down into esoteric details.

Oh enough ranting…

To finish, let’s review…

Word:

sovereignty

Definition:
  1. It’s sovereign
  2. If you’re on a reservation, you’ve been soverized
  3. A study of sovereignty is soverbication
Word:

increased loans

Definition:
  1. encouraging capital flows

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me

What is with the Republican party that they repeatedly elect people so dumb that they sound like elementary school dropouts?? Starting with Dan Quayle and continuing with George Dubya, people have filled entire books with idiotic, incorrect or just plain dumb things they say???

Recall the phrase "Fool me once shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" – the below link is Dubya’s eloquent personal interpretation of said quote… come on, are we going to continue to give this man access to nucular… I mean nuclear 😉 weapons!!!

Remember, a vote for George Dubya, is another vote for this guy as leader of the most powerful country in the world:

Targeted emails

This totally cracks me up… I received the following email today…

Dear sir,
Greetings in the name of Allah, the most beneficent,the most merciful. My name is Mrs Halima Abdulahi Mohammed, a widow to Late Mr Hassan A. Mohammed I am 74years old, Presently I am suffering from long time cancer of the breast, […going to die, don’t have any kids… yada, yada, yada…] My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth, […still going to die… yada, yada, yada…]

So now i have decided to divide part of this wealth,to contribute to the propagation of Islam and in assisting the less-privileged Muslim faithful and all humanity in Africa and through out the Muslim world,

Wait.. wait… the best part is coming up…

I chose you after visiting the website and I prayed over it,

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!

I discussed this with my Attorney,Barrister Alwal Sadique.I am willing to donate part of the sum of US$18,000,000.00 (Eighteen Million US Dollars) for the development of the hollywork as well as a distribution to aid muslim faithfuls and also for the less privileged, including orphans who lost their mothers through this deadly illness [cancer] no matter their faith.

Because it’s clear from my site that I am a Muslim faithful that does lots of this type of charity work.

Please I want you to note that, this fund is deposited in a Security Company in Dubai,United Arab Emirate (UAE). For that, my lawyer Barrister Alwal Sadique will file in application for the transfer of the money in your name as you wish provided you are ready to use part of this money for this purpose. You will therefore have to travel to Dubai, to sign for the official release of this money as well as advice on how you want the money remitted to you own account. my Attorney will acompany you on this trip.

Lastly I honestly pray that this money when transferred will be used for the said purpose because I have come to find out that wealth acquisition without Allah is vanity upon vanity.for this reason I have decided to set-aside 40% of this money for the service of humanity and the work of Allah.

May the Grace of Allah be our guide and be my refuge when i leave this world. Moreso,I decided to offer you 30% While 20% will be transfered to the account of my Lawyer, Barrister Alwal Sadique as compensation after successful conclusion. The remaining 10% is to cover the expenses […]

Yours in Allah,
Mrs Halima Abdulahi Mohamed.

Wait, now I’m confused, I thought *I* was going to be doing the charity work… why is she setting aside the extra 40% for? Frankly, I am a little hurt, she has *clearly* done her due diligence when she chose me… she even prayed on it!

Oh well, the next time I am in Dubai, I will be sure to follow up on this fantastic opportunity to help my Muslim brothers!

Burned pizza!

burned pizza!The charcoal brick you see pictured on the left is what happens when you put a frozen pizza into a preheated oven and then don’t take it out for four hours… just in case you were wondering.

It was great – it looked like a pizza, you could even make out the shapes of the each individual bell pepper, but there was no food content left – it was 100% charcoal… and it made a strange crackling sound that lasted for a good 15 minutes…

Back from the Olympics!

The Olympic flame at nightHey all, well Olympic mania has hit Salim’s World! I just got back from a week in the Salt Lake City where I saw a bunch of events and got some skiing in. This trip made me think about my previous trip to the Atlanta games, here are some thoughts and comparisons between the two

Here are some of the more humorous and bizarre images from Salt Lake…

The great thing is, you can’t fake stuff this strange…

Mormon protestors - 'Mormon Jesus is Devil's brother' and 'Mormons say Blacks are Cursed' Polygamy Porter - this is real beer, I'm not making this up!
South Weber City welcomes Ukranian National Team - seemed a little out of place in Utah