Quite possible the 2 best "bad" moves ever (and the worst "bad" movie ever) – Part 1 of 3

There are 2 types of really bad movies, 1) movies that are so bad that they make you want to walk out of the theater on a good day and claw out your eyeballs with an electric toothbrush on a bad one and 2) movies that are so bad that they are funny.

I saw 3 movies recently which were really bad. The first 2 were so bad they were funny and the third was, well, just bad. Let’s start with the good…

The made-for-TV movie, The Pirates of Silicon Valley

This dramatization of the rise of Microsoft and Apple through the 80s and 90s contained enough geek references to entertain the nerds, enough references to familiar products to appeal to the normals and enough ridiculous drama to be make it a hoot to watch. It didn’t try to be all self-important like the Social Network. There was no sense that it was trying to be an accurate representation of the conflict – it was the epitome of an overdone made for TV drama.

The characters were just hilarious,

    • Steve Jobs as the self-absorbed, LSD tripping new age hippy asshole
  • Steve Balmer as the beer drinking, porn loving, strip-club going frat-boy
  • Bill Gates as the lying, evil little nerdy guy – ok, actually this one was played probably not too far from what most people assume is reality

While the characterizations were over the top, the characters developed as the movie progressed and made you care about the outcome. This is the hallmark of a good “bad” movie, it is terrible, but you still want to watch it.

Adding to the funniness of the movie was how times have changed since this. In 1999, Apple sold 1 machine for every gazillion that had Windows on it. Apple’s market cap was a drop of bird poo on Microsoft’s Stretch Suburban. Apple didn’t even have a mobile OS, (while Microsoft was rockin’ Windows CE 2.0). There was no “i” anything.

The Pirates of Silicon Valley 2 is going to be a *veeery* different movie.

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