An American Werewolf in Canada

I saw something which makes me really question the entire Tim Hortons organization (for the non-Canadians, Tim Hortons is an overrated donut chain)… we stopped at a TH at the border crossing to Buffalo, NY and saw this sign:

Haunted Tim Hortons

Haunted Tim Hortons

Seriously, WTF?? Am I crazy or is this nuts? I do have a couple of theories as to why such a severe sign is required:

  • The stairs are really steep and the lightbulb has been broken (permanently).
  • The employees are all vampires.
  • The donuts are actually made, not by people, but by a colony of murderous gnomes who only come out at night.
  • Mr. Horton is actually a werewolf and built a chain of stores across Canada so that he was never more than 5 minutes away from a place where he could be safely contained during his lycanthropic transformations.

If anyone has any better ideas, please let me know!

I feel it is telling that by the time I got back outside from eating my overrated donut and coffee that the door was closed.

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